


Survey 01

by Joe_Reaves



Series: A (Somewhat) Normal Life [7]
Category: Primeval
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Writing Exercise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-15
Updated: 2010-04-15
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joe_Reaves/pseuds/Joe_Reaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stephen gets bored and fills in a survey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Survey 01

**ABOUT YOU**

_What's your name?_ Stephen James Hart  
_Ever used any other names?_ Nope  
_Do you have any nicknames?_ Not that I know of... Well, you call me God a lot, but only in bed *grin*  
_Where were you born?_ Leeds  
_Where do you live now?_ London  
_When were you born?_ 1975  
_What is your sign?_ Scorpio  
_What is your Chinese zodiac sign?_ Rabbit *chuckle* no comments please. I notice you're a snake, which would imply I'm lunch. Not entirely accurate although if you want to 'eat' me ...  
_Are you married/single/divorced/widowed/taken?_ Definitely taken, as often as possible ... Although after this morning I might need to do the taking for a while. *wink*  
_Do you have any children?_ No. I like kids, as long as you can give them back when they get annoying.  
_What are your parents names?_ James and Mary  
_Do you have any siblings?_ One brother, Simon. Sqd. Ldr. Simon Hart, to be precise. He got promoted, I forgot to tell you. We're going to have to go home for a celebratory dinner. Try not to fight with my dad again.  
_Are you closer to your Mom or Dad?_ Mum.   
_Are your parents still together?_ Yeah, 40 years and still going strong. I'll be 66 when we reach 40 years, reckon you'll still fancy me when I'm going bald?  
_What kind of home do you live in?_ Technically, I have a modern flat in a nice block. Which I see once a week to pick up the post, but it stops the students getting nosy.  
_What are your living arrangements?_ Living in sin with my sexy boss in his comfortable home, with 17 exotic fish, one small lizard, and the neighbour's cat that said sexy boss thinks I don't know he feeds.  
_Do you have any pets?_ Nope, the menagerie above are all yours. The kinds of animals I like they don't let you keep as pets.  
_Do you collect anything?_ Antique weapons.   
_What do you do for a living?_ I mess around with animals, fossils, and students *grin*  
_How much money do you make in a year?_ Since you're the only person getting this and I work for you I don't think I have to answer that.  
_What kind of vehicle do you drive?_ 4x4 offroader.   
_What colour is your bedroom flooring?_ When you can see it, under the laundry, it's blue.  
_How big is your bed?_ Big enough for us to have fun, small enough that you have an excuse to snuggle.  
_Do you sleep with any one/thing in the bed with you?_ The above mentioned sexy boss *grin*. Not always a lot of sleeping happening, but that's how I like it. I like it even better when he wakes me up in the middle of the night and whispers all kinds of wicked plans in my ear with his sleep roughened voice, his accent even stronger and sexier than usual, and then he does everything he promised. There's nothing like sleepy, middle of the night sex.   
_Do you like thunderstorms?_ Love them, but the ones we get here have nothing on the ones we've seen on our travels. I'm thinking about Africa this summer, Nick. Got a couple of plans already drawn up that you should go over. You, me, and a dozen annoying students in the middle of nowhere, either digging up fossils or tracking lions, depending which you prefer.  
_Do you know how to swim?_ Of course. Have to take a weekend and go back to Cornwall soon, Nick. I love our beach and I love you in that wetsuit even more *wink*.  
_Do you know CPR?_ Yes.  
_Would you rather fly, take a bus, take a train, or drive on a trip?_ Hmm, well flying there's the mile high club, trains you can do it in the toilet, buses are more awkward but I'm sure we could come up with something... Driving means I can tease you for hours and then when we find a hotel you fuck me till I scream. I like driving best.   
_When did you graduate from high school?_ 1993  
_What high school did you graduate from?_ George VI College, Gloucester  
_Do you sing in the shower?_ When I'm alone. When you're there I usually have better things to do.  
_Do you read on the toilet?_ Those GQ are not mine, I don't care what you say.

**YOUR FAVORITES**

_Colour?_ Hmm, light blue maybe, like your eyes or if that's too sappy maybe grey, like that old, faded t-shirt you wear when we go running. I love the way it looks on you, not to mention the way it clings once you're all sweaty ...  
_Food?_ I eat anything, but I like Indian and Thai.  
_Restaurant?_ Do you remember that little, family run place we found in Mexico? Right on the beach so you could look out to sea as you ate.  
_Season?_ Summer, so we can get out of this office and go somewhere, anywhere, together. Expeditions or just little trips up to Scotland or down to Cornwall. *soft smile* I love travelling with you.  
_Holiday?_ Tracking that injured jaguar through the rainforest, sharing that tent with you, and then coming home and finally being able to get you into bed.   
_Animal?_ Cats, big ones, any kind will do. Jaguars are kind of special, but I love lions too.  
_Clothing item?_ Those jeans you only wear if you're not planning to go anywhere because they're almost worn through but you love them anyway. They're so soft and they cling in all the right places. Or was that meant to be an item I own? *innocent expression*  
_Scent?_ You. I don't care how sappy that sounds it's true.  
_Shampoo?_ I really don't care. As long as it gets my hair clean and doesn't smell all girly.  
_Non-alcoholic beverage?_ Tea.  
_Alcoholic beverage?_ Whisky, Glenkinchie Single Malt when I can get it and I totally blame you for that.  
_Store to shop in?_ Book stores or places selling antique guns.  
_Author?_ Wilbur Smith  
_Actor/actress?_ Humphrey Bogart is brilliant. Lauren Bacall is stunning. And currently I'm a fan of Ewan MacGregor because he's sexy and his accent is almost as good as yours.  
_Movie?_ To Have and Have Not ... do you know how to whistle, Nick? *wink* Or any of the Indiana Jones films.  
_Book?_ Heart of Darkness.  
_Director?_ Don't have one.  
_Musical artist or group?_ Arctic Monkeys are good. They're too modern for you though *grin*.   
_Song?_ Paint it Black.  
_Music genre?_ I have eclectic tastes *smirk* I like everything.  
_Ideal vehicle?_ Aston Martin, V8 Vantage, only it would somehow need to be crossed with an off road vehicle so I could have the looks and the speed and the sound and still drive anywhere I wanted.  
_Sport to watch?_ Football.   
_Sports team?_ Leeds.  
_Sport to play?_ Rugby.  
_TV show?_ The Sweeny or The Professionals.  
_Card game?_ Not interested in cards really.  
_Board game?_ Naked Twister?

**HAVE YOU EVER...**

_Been arrested?_ A couple of times when I was a student. For being drunk and disorderly.  
_Been in jail?_ Only overnight. Oh don't look at me like that Nick, I was a teenager!  
_Stolen anything?_ Nope.  
_Cheated on someone?_ No, never.  
_Lied to a friend?_ Yeah. Never going to stop feeling bad about that.  
_Lied to a relative?_ By omission maybe. Dad still has no idea about Helen.  
_Lied to someone you were in a relationship with?_ Not about anything important.  
_Killed anything?_ More than once, unfortunately.  
_Hit an animal with your vehicle?_ Luckily no, I never have.  
_Called out of work for no reason?_ Depends what you mean no reason and whether it counts if the boss is the one making the call? *grins* Because I can remember a few days when the boss has suggested playing hooky and we've spent all day in bed together. Call it a mental health day, stops us strangling the students. Fancy doing it again sometime soon, Nick? I'm sure I could make it worth your while.  
_Skipped school?_ I was at boarding school. You have to make a real effort to skive off and not get caught. So yes of course I have, but not very often.   
_Gone bungee jumping?_ I keep suggesting it but my boyfriend keeps talking me out of it!  
_Gotten a tattoo?_ No.  
_Gotten a piercing?_ I've thought about it. What do you think, Nick? Maybe a nipple? Or somewhere more interesting?  
_Been in a fight?_ A few.  
_Lost a fight?_ Sadly yes.  
_Done any gambling?_ Sure.  
_Cheated at a game you were playing?_ Where's the fun in that?   
_Pretended something was worse than it was for sympathy?_ Um, *cough* can I not answer that on the grounds it might incriminate me? You're always so great after the rugby games ...  
_Made a prank phone call?_ No.  
_Been drunk?_ Of course.  
_Been drunk enough to puke?_ Not from being drunk ... from being hungover the next morning though.  
_Puked on someone?_ No.  
_Peed your pants since being an adult?_ No.  
_Fainted or passed out?_ I do not faint, I'm a man, we pass out. And only once, when I broke my leg on the rugby pitch. Fuck that hurt.  
_Seen a dead body?_ No.  
_Seen someone die?_ No.  
_Been in love?_ I thought I was, but now I know I am.  
_Been married?_ No. Someday, maybe.   
_Loved someone you couldn't tell?_ No. Couldn't have since you wouldn't sleep with me while I was a student, but I didn't have a problem telling you.  
_Fallen for a friend?_ Yes.   
_Had sex with someone you were not in a relationship with?_ Well, yeah, of course. I was a teenage boy away at university and the girls like me ... *grins*   
_Been the person someone cheated on someone else with?_ Yes. Changing the subject now.  
_Dumped someone?_ Yes.  
_Been dumped?_ I'm guessing vanishing into thin air counts.  
_Lost someone you loved?_ No.  
_Cried because your heart was broken?_ I thought it was at the time. It mended and I got over it.  
_Loved someone so much it made you cry?_ No.  
_Done something illegal or immoral?_ I think that's obvious from some of the answers above! Besides I'm pretty certain a lot of people would consider most of the things we do together immoral.  
_Been high?_ Once or twice on expeditions. Got to try the native customs, right?  
_Bought drugs?_ No.  
_Sold drugs?_ Never.  
_Broken something when you were angry?_ Yes.  
_Punched an inanimate object in anger?_ No that's more you than me. You're the volatile, grumpy one.  
_Lied about your age?_ No.  
_Had your license suspended or revoked?_ No. I'm a good driver. No comments, Nick, I am!  
_Been in a car accident?_ No.   
_Gotten a ticket?_ Hasn't everyone?  
_Given a gift "just because"?_ Yes, but I'm not good at thinking of things like that. You, Nick Cutter, are embarrassingly good at surprises like that though. I have to try harder.  
_Forgotten someone's birthday or your own anniversary?_ Only once.  
_Bounced a check?_ Find me a student who hasn't at some point.  
_Had an overdrawn bank account?_ Ditto  
_Kissed someone of the same sex?_ *slow smile* Oh yeah, want to come over here and try it again, Nick?

**ABOUT YOUR PERFECT SIGNIFICANT OTHER**

_Age range?_ About ten years older than me.  
_Height?_ A little shorter but not much.  
_Build?_ Slim, fit but not hard. I like to cuddle.  
_Hair colour?_ Reddish blond is nice.  
_Hair style?_ Short.  
_Eye colour?_ Light blue.

*grin* Clear enough picture, Nick?

**MORE ABOUT YOU**

_Religious preference?_ None. Technically C of E I guess but I only go to church for weddings, christenings, and funerals.  
_Political affiliation?_ Politicians are all the same really. I tend to get involved in issues rather than with specific parties.  
_Ever worn glasses, contacts, or braces?_ No. I'd wear contacts rather than glasses though if I had to.  
_Describe yourself in 4 words:_ Confident, friendly, athletic, zoologist  
_Describe your perfect mate in 4 words:_ Sitting opposite me now. *grin*  
_Name 4 places you have lived:_ Leeds, Gloucester, Manchester, London.  
_Name four occupations you have had:_ Student, 'academic', cadet, um, I can't think of a fourth. Tracker maybe, on expeditions anyway.  
_If you could have 3 wishes, what would they be?_ Hmmm. Well, I'd like enough money that we could quit the university, not give up the field altogether, just be able to go on expeditions, study things, and not worry about teaching unless we wanted to, no paperwork, no timetables ...

I'd kind of like Helen to reappear just so we know she's alive and well, then I'd like to tell her to fuck off again and leave us alone.

I don't know, I have pretty much everything I want. Well, maybe I'd like my gorgeous lover to forget all his rules about what we can and can't do where the students might catch us and let me bend him over his desk and fuck him or have him do the same to me.

_Do you miss someone right now?_ No.  
_Do you have a crush on someone right now?_ My boss.  
_What shoes did you wear today?_ *looks down* Hiking boots.   
_What are you wearing right now?_ Black jeans, grey t-shirt, white shirt, no underwear.  
_What time is it right now?_ About 4:30, nearly time to go home.  
_If you could vacation any 2 places in the world, where would they be?_ Brazil. Cornwall.  
_Name 4 things you'd rather be doing right now?_ You. Spending some time on the shooting range. You. Tracking a jaguar.  
_When was the last time you wrote someone a letter and who was it?_ I don't remember. I'm not great at letters. Probably last summer on the expedition, to my mum.  
_Who was the last person to write you a letter?_ Sadly the phone company or the electric company most likely.  
_Who was the last person you got an email from?_ One of my students.  
_Who was the last person you sent an email to?_ The same student, arranging a time to meet him.  
_Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?_ Our boss, he was looking for you but as usual you were hiding from him  
_Who was the last person you kissed?_ You.  
_Who was the last person you hugged?_ You.  
_Who was the last person you said "I Love You" to?_ You. Not often enough probably.  
_Name 4 places you have been on vacation:_ Brazil, Cornwall, Mexico, Scotland  
_Name your 5 best friends:_ I don't think I have five, isn't that sad? I prefer to have a few close friends than a whole bunch of people I don't know well. You, Simon, Jen, Allison ...

**THIS OR THAT**

_Coke or Pepsi?_ Coke  
_Mickey D's or BK?_ McDonald's.  
_Chinese or Mexican?_ Mexican, but only if we're in Mexico. Otherwise Chinese.  
_Cats or Dogs?_ Cats, but not the domesticated kind.  
_Fish or Birds?_ Birds.  
_Reptiles or Amphibians?_ Reptiles.  
_Early Bird or Night Owl?_ Night Owl.  
_Winter or Summer?_ Summer.  
_Spring Break or Christmas Vacation?_ Christmas Vacation.   
_Hamburger or Cheeseburger?_ Cheeseburger.  
_Chocolate or Vanilla?_ Vanilla.

**A LITTLE MORE ABOUT YOURSELF**

_What are you afraid of?_ Nothing... I'm maybe a little uncomfortable around snakes, but I wouldn't say I was afraid.  
_What is your mood right now?_ Bored. Horny. Contemplating walking over there and kissing you.  
_Name 4 things you like to do for fun:_ You *grin*, shooting, surfing, dancing  
_Ever been skinny dipping?_ Many times.  
_Do you smoke?_ No.  
_Do you drink?_ Yes.  
_Do you believe in love at first sight?_ Not sure. I know I connected with you the moment I saw you, but it wasn't love.  
_Would you rather have 10 acquaintances or 2 close friends?_ 2 close friends.  
_If you had a child today, what would you name it?_ I think I'd have to call it one hell of a shock!  
_Do you know the words to The Star Spangled Banner?_ No  
_Do you like fire?_ Sometimes. I've seen what it can do in the wild, but I've also seen new shoots springing up from burned trees, it's incredible.  
_Are you afraid to die?_ No.  
_Do you believe in Heaven and Hell?_ I don't know. Not the stereotypical little guys with pitchforks and fluffy clouds with angels anyway.  
_Do you own a cell phone?_ Yes.  
_Name 4 websites you visit every time you get on a computer:_ BBC News, especially the sports pages, University homepage, that's about it really. There's a few more I have bookmarked but not that I visit every time I get on-line.  
_Where is your computer?_ Currently on my desk in our office.  
_What are you listening to right now?_ You, swearing at your paperwork. Don't know why you're bothering since you'll inevitably make me fill it out anyway.  
_What is the last CD you got?_ I can't remember, I don't buy music much.  
_What is the last gift someone gave you?_ Coffee and a Danish this morning after I gave your lecture. It was the least you could do. Very much appreciated though.  
_What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?_ I think the month after I broke my leg and you looked after me probably or possibly the fact that you forgave me for Helen.  
_How would your friends describe you?_ I don't know - confident, maybe?  
_When was the last time you cried?_ When we found that dead wolf cub in a trap last summer. I hate crying in front of other people. I'm glad you managed to get us a moment alone so I could compose myself, it was embarrassing crying in front of those students. At least they weren't our students.  
_What was the last thing you ate?_ Um that Danish you bought me this morning actually. I missed lunch.  
_Do you prefer mini blinds, shades, or drapes?_ Why would I care? Do I look like Martha Stewart?   
_Do you have any pets?_ Didn't I already answer this one? No, I don't.  
_When was the last time you moved?_ When we moved you down here from Manchester. Well, technically it was when I moved into my flat but since I've never actually lived there I don't think it counts.  
_Do you get along with your neighbours?_ Mostly. I think they think we're a little odd sometimes, but they're nice people.  
_Are you friends with any of your exes?_ No. My only 'ex' that I dated more than casually was Helen.   
_Do you get along better with guys or girls?_ Guys usually, but girls like me and I have as many female friends as male.  
_How do you want to die?_ I'd really rather not, but after a long, long life if I have to.   
_Do you bathe daily?_ Yes.  
_Do you prefer baths or showers?_ Showers. Especially if they have you in them. Shower sex is the perfect way to start the day.  
_What is your favourite sleeping position?_ I like sleeping wrapped around you, with my head on your shoulder and your arms around me.  
_Would you prefer to sleep in a warm room or a cold room?_ Cold. That way we can snuggle.  
_Who was the last person who drove you somewhere?_ You, into work this morning.   
_Where was the last place you drove to?_ Um... When I picked up your dry cleaning a couple of days ago I think.  
_When was the last time you took a "road trip"?_ It's been ages. I think the last one was up to Scotland to see your mum.  
_How many DVDs do you own?_ No idea, quite a few. We never seem to get to the cinema.  
_How many CDs do you own?_ Not that many, you on the other hand ...  
_What is your favourite radio station?_ I don't listen to the radio much.  
_What is your favourite cologne or perfume on someone else?_ Green Irish Tweed by Creed.  
_What is your favourite cologne or perfume?_ Avatar by Coty.  
_What is your least favourite smell?_ Rotting meat, I hate baiting any traps that need that.

**ABOUT DATING**

_Is it okay for a girl to ask a guy out or should the guy always ask?_ Sure, why not?  
_Do you think the guy should always pay on the first date?_ Not if the girl did the asking. Whoever asks, pays.  
_Where would you go on an ideal date with someone?_ Hmmm, somewhere where we could go for a long walk, alone, after dinner, and then back to the hotel. Somewhere with good food and four poster beds.  
_Do you like public displays of affection?_ Sadly, since we don't want the students to know about us, we can't engage in them, but yes, I do.  
_Would you rather go to a theatre or cuddle on the couch and watch a DVD?_ I think I prefer watching at home, which is good because we never seem to get to a cinema.  
_Do you know what the "door lock" test is?_ No.  
_When was the last time someone hit on you?_ Me? *innocent look* It doesn't happen that often ... honestly. Well if you don't count students... Students don't count, right? I mean they always get crushes on tutors, it's nothing really to do with me and it's not like I encourage them!  
_Are you a flirt?_ I don't think so, but you say I am.

**MISCELLANEOUS QUESTIONS**

_What was the last thing you bought?_ I paid for your dry cleaning, does that count? *grin* If not um I bought new jeans last weekend.  
_When was the last time you stayed awake for over 24 hours?_ That last article you published, where you left it right to the day before the submission deadline to finish it and we both spent all night in your office.  
_What is the last movie you watched?_ The Caine Mutiny.  
_What is the last movie you saw in a theatre?_ I honestly don't remember.  
_Did you get anything in the mail today?_ I haven't checked. I'll have to swing by the flat in the next day or so.   
_If you could have any job in the world what would it be?_ This one.  
_If you could only have one food for the rest of your life what would it be?_ Khao Pad.  
_What would you do with a million dollars?_ Probably buy up some rainforest and protect it, set up a reserve where scientists have free access for research.  
_Have you ever been in the hospital?_ Yes, more than once. The last time was for the broken leg, didn't have to stay in that time though.  
_What is your least favourite food?_ Snake. Surprisingly most insects are quite nice but I don't care how much you swear it tastes like chicken, snake is horrible.  
_Tell me something I may not know about you?_ Did you know Manchester University offered me a job a couple of years ago? A teaching position and the opportunity to get my PhD.  
_In the last week, has anyone told you a secret?_ No.  
_Are you straight, gay, or bi?_ Bi, normally with a preference for girls, but there's something irresistibly sexy about Scottish zoologists ...  
_Have you ever dyed your hair?_ No.  
_What were you doing for a living 9 years ago?_ I was a student.  
_Who were you with 9 years ago?_ I was single and enjoying myself *wink*.  
_Have you gained or lost weight since high school?_ Gained, but it's mostly muscle.  
_What was your favourite subject in high school?_ Didn't really have one. I was good at sciences and geography, not so great at foreign languages. I guess PE could be counted as a favourite.  
_Were you in any clubs/sports/activities in high school?_ Combined Cadet Force.  
_What is your favourite number?_ Sixty-Nine ... *grin* Want to go home and let me show you why?  
_Do you have any lucky charms?_ No. I believe you make your own luck.  
_Are you superstitious?_ Not really. I'm not as practical as you are but I can't see how spilling salt or seeing a black cat can have any effect on your future.  
_Do you believe in ghosts?_ Yes. I know you don't, but I've seen things that, well, let's just say I'm convinced they exist.  
_What do you think of psychics?_ I think there might be genuine ones out there but most of them are charlatans and I've never seen one I didn't think was putting on an act.  
_Are you picky about grammar or spelling?_ Only from my students.  
_How many keys on your key chain?_ Uh, two for your place, the office here, one for mine plus a key card, your car, my car, the garage ...  
_How many rings until you answer the phone?_ Depends where I am. Usually only a couple, unless we're 'busy' then the machine can get it. *wink*  
_What is your favourite ice cream flavour?_ Mango sorbet.  
_When did you lose your virginity?_ When I was 18, a couple of weeks after getting to university.  
_Who was the last relative you talked to?_ My mum, three days ago. She called to tell me about Simon.  
_Have you ever aced an exam?_ Naturally. *smirk*  
_What is your most used catch phrase?_ I don't think I have one, do I?   
_What's the best pick-up line you've ever heard?_ There's no such thing as a good pick-up line.   
_What is the best compliment you have ever heard or received?_ Whenever you start bragging about me to other people. It may be egotistical but I love hearing it.   
_Do you think you are attractive?_ Yes.  
_Would you rather take a picture or be in a picture?_ Be in one.  
_Number of things in your past that you regret:_ One.  
_What is the craziest thing you have ever done?_ Jumping out of a plane maybe, you certainly thought I was crazy. Man, what a rush though. You have to try it!  
_Do you have any bad habits?_ I don't tell people what I feel often enough. I don't like talking about my feelings so I don't say I love you enough to anyone.  
_Do you have any psychological impairments?_ I don't think so, but would I know? *grin*  
_Are you taking any prescription medications?_ None  
_How long did it take you to complete this survey?_ About an hour, but I was bored. Why don't you turn off the computer now and take me home. I have plans for you, Nick Cutter.


End file.
